live like no other

;

2010-01-10T08:18:00.000-08:00

i guess SORRY is the only word I can say for now,
but, 3 years, 3 years, just for 3 years;

from 5 years i will cut down to 3,
please at least give me 3 years to prove myself that dream does exist!

I will strive for what I want,
promise not to burden y’all any further,

but at the same time,
sorry cos I couldn’t contribute anything in the next 3 yrs,
this plan is so expensive that need me 3 yrs of efforts.

If the plan went smoothly,
I will return and contribute more than what I can do now;

If there’s still nothing I achieved by then,
I promise will give up the Master and look for a safe job here.

but, no matter what happens when I’m 25, outcome still the same,
I will work double twice harder to repay y’all my selfish past.

and so yeah..
this is the decision I made out of my tears and anger today.

R

Testing testing

2010-01-06T15:25:00.001-08:00

Yah, I'm testing using my email posting. So does this work?

If yes I guess I will post more here in the future since I doubt there's any email posting function for tumblr! :D

I'm hungry, better finish this asap! Buh bye! :)

R
Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device via Vodafone-Celcom Mobile.

2009-11-15T14:35:00.000-08:00

I'm dead.
you can find me at the other world HERE.

loves. :)

the world ain't gonna stop you

2009-09-19T01:48:00.000-07:00

the jumping rabbit is exhausted

this, that and those is killing her every minute
she just want to have a rest, not a give up

but the world is still running, it won't stop
and so she can't, guess living like no other is not easy huh

she is catching up with everything everyday
she is jumping and chasing the world like a crazy bitch

with tears and tiredness.

but dear jumping rabbit,
please don't stop, never ever give up
you gotta protect your dreams with strong determination

keep chasing, keep jumping, never look back
you will see the outcome one day, it's all worth it

fight till no end, live like no other and you'll be stronger than yesterday

R

Park Jae Beom is love.

2009-09-10T12:56:00.000-07:00

Park Jae Beom, i hate to say this, but in fact he is now a former member of 2PM.

as a fan of Jay, i'm frustrated that JYP did not stop Jay from leaving the group and encourage him to be stronger to face all these, and i believe if he voice out, he got the power to stop him.

BUT,

if were to put aside my fangirl thoughts, once again i bow my head to JYP for the second time. Only JYP can write something like this, he wisely tells everyone, whether people who know Jay or not, a story and a different side of Jay that i believe it will leave a deep impression on the leader who had just sacrifice for sake of the group, and all the stupid netizens who contribute to his resign, and not to forget everyone who stand by him from the beginning.

Below are words and testimonials from fellow celebrities, media and not to forget 2PM members for Jay Park. Again, not as a fan of Jay i say, by reading all these, i believe it will somehow makes you realize something. This world is full of love but sometimes humans are just lack of something called forgiveness.

"we are not seven, we are ONE!" --- Jay Park and his fellow 2PM members.

"We're not seven members, we're ONE."
- 2PM Wooyoung

"Let's walk together."
- 2PM Chansung

"...In the wind, the fall came.
The scent of fall that suddenly came reminds me the memories.
The high blue sky is so pureI m getting tears whenever I see.
In the fall of 2009, even the sky makes me cry"
- 2PM Junsu

"The first song we practiced together..
We felt nervous and excited..
I always pray.
That it won't be such a hard journey..
I believe you will get stronger
because you're my brother."
- 2AM Jo Kwon

"My heart is hurting very much
My heart feels like its being torn apart because he is a dongseng that I love
Because I believe and love my dongseng I believe that he will return with a better appearance
Today my heart is hurting very much
Jaebeom, hyung will work harder so that when you return I can protect and hug you with a warmer embrace
Please return healthy
I love you....."
- Boom

More than 500 fans grieving at the airport because of Jay speedy decision on leaving the country as he felt really guilty.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
JYP Official letter to Jay:-

The reason why I helped Jaebum to make his debut

Many people were shocked when things Jaebum wrote to his friends four years ago went public. Of course his words were a basketful of shock. I, myself, would also have felt extreme anger and a sense of betrayal if it were another celebrity who wrote those words. However, for people like me who have known Jaebum for years, his words from the past don’t seem very surprising. Because we knew Jaebum was one of these kids.

Four years ago when he first came to Korea, Jaebum was a very offensive and twisted kid. He despised Korea, looked down on fellow trainees, contempted the staffs of the company, he even despised me. It seemed like he went so far as to despise the job of an entertainer. He was the kid that wanted to become a b-boy and breakdance on the streets, rather than becoming an entertainer. He countlessly argued with the staffs and trainers, and yet he was not afraid to say ‘you’ll have to pay for this’ towards the staffs after arguing. He also said he did not like the company, and requested for transfer to another company that he had picked out.

Most of all, what really stunned us was that when we asked if he felt confident of success, he answered “I have confidence in my success, only if I were not to sing to Mr. JYP’s music.” By this time, the staffs raised an objection against me, as for what reason I was keeping this kid who was so twisted and offensive. Because the situation in the past was this extreme, it didn’t seem very surprising to us that he used the words of that level in his personal letters to his best friend back then.

Then why was I keeping my eyes on this kid?

I like these kids that hate everything and act offensive, all thugged out. I do not like those malicious kids that act nice and kind infront of people, but are calculative behind our backs. However, I like the ones that are twisted and act offensive in people’s face. I believe that there’s hope when they make no disguise of their true feelings and express them. Jaebum looked down on everyone, including myself, and that could be seen on his face. And I liked that. Which artist of our company, which trainee of the company would even speak out ‘I have confidence in my success, only if I were not to sing to Mr. JYP’s music’? I found that very interesting. Most of these offensive kids have so much energy in them, but still they do not stand a chance at giving off that energy. And it is much less frequent that these kids meet the person who is reliable and can help to give off that energy. And so, I believed that if we reached out our hands, if he could build his trust in us, and if we could help him to enjoy performing on stage, there was a hope. Because I could see the talent in him deep down, wild and unpolished.

To Jaebum, there were only two types of people in the world; his family, and the ones that weren’t. Of anyone I’ve ever seen, he thinks the most of his family. Times when he talked about money in interviews, it was not because he wanted a fancy car, fancy clothes. It was only because he wanted to support his parents who were living a hard life. And that was the biggest motive that lead him to the job of singer. For that reason, he practiced and worked harder than anyone. His manners were not decent, but his practicing amounts were the best.

Seeing him like that, I thought to myself. ‘If it were possible to make him think much of the staffs, the fellow trainees, and even further, the people in Korea, as he thinks of his family, this kid would become a wonderful person.’ And so, oneday I talked to him. “Jaebum, family doesn’t always have to share blood. Please open your mind first, then others can also become family.” These efforts had built up bit by bit, and Jaebum started to change little by little. He started to warm up to the fellow trainees whom he ignored and made fun of for the reason that they were selected for their good looks. He started to share his personal feelings with the staffs, and he started to like performing on stage. His twisted face became brighter, and his dancing and singing started to shine out. Because he met music, and because he met great colleagues, his energy finally started to pour out towards the stage. At last, I decided to assist him make his debut, and chose him to be the leader of the team. The rest six truly relied on him, and gave in to him. After debut, he lead the members to practice after long and hard days of working, and the members always came first to him, than himself. When he began to work in the show industry, he was moved by the people of the show business who warmed up to him. And he was touched by the Korean fans that supported him with endless love. Because he had great people, great colleagues, great fans, and most of all, he had music, he finally changed.

However, unfortunately, like a scene from the movies, his twisted words from four years ago became public, just when he was about to become happy. He felt awfully sorry and regretful. To the members of 2PM, to me, to the staffs of the company, to the fans, and most of all, to Koreans who warmed up to him and made much of him. He said if he were to hesitate more, people would even start to dislike the 2PM members. And inspite of all, he said he lacked assurance to perform on stage. I could not hold him back as I knew well what he meant. Because I would’ve made the same decision as he did, if I were him. And he left. In the last email he wrote to me, he said ‘I’ve been a little punk in the past. I just want to let you know that it was a life changing experience. It made me a much better, much stronger person and I’m thankful for everything you had done for me. Real talk.’. It tore my heart apart. But because I also knew the betrayal people must’ve have felt from Jaebum’s past words, I could not let words out of my mouth, carelessly.

However, what I can say for sure is that what you have seen about Jaebum on TV was not a lie. He did misbehave, but he was never malicious. Because in the twisted past, he was not the kind of person that hides his innermost feelings, and he never is in the bright present. When he was misbehaving, he acted offensive in people’s face, and when he became warm, he was friendly to everyone from the bottom of his heart. The reason why I am writing this letter is not to turn back your anger. I understand well it is not something that could easily be changed. I am writing only with the hope that people would not give a cold glance at Jaebum whereever he goes.

As much as the anger of the public, I am well aware of the loss fans must suffer from, and I am listening to your words carefully. However, it seems what’s important is not Jaebum Park as a member of 2PM, but the person Jaebum Park himself. It seems now very important for Jaebum to look back over his life and reflect on his conduct. I hope that you would respect the decision Jaebum made, as much as I did.

Before I finish, I want to apologize to everyone once again.

JYP

-------------------------------------------------

Jay's friend's testimonial -
http://tinyurl.com/n4shgv (high schmates and this touches me so much.)
http://tinyurl.com/qvun36 (a Korean friend)
http://tinyurl.com/r4zjmt (a States friend)

Hot Blood Writer -
http://tinyurl.com/lnm8zr

Wild Bunny Production Team -
http://tinyurl.com/od6nto

JYP Stylist -
http://tinyurl.com/n5zmyz

Ex Manager & a JYP Staff -
http://tinyurl.com/nwfpny

G.O.D Kim Tae Woo -
http://tinyurl.com/mnofpa

Koyote Bbaekga -
http://tinyurl.com/oynkwj

Back then before debut as a trainee of JYP HOT BLOOD show, together with OneDay members (2AM+2PM), where the boys sweat like no other and trained like they are in the military.

Korea fans who did a Post-Its project outside JYP centre.

Hottest's project - Post-Its of Love at JYP New York centre..

Park Jae Beom, someone whom i think always gave his best on stage to entertain all his audience even though it is not as perfect as some big names. But at least, he never failed to disappoint me, if not, i wouldn't put his name with Bi, the one and only best stage performer i admired before this.

Last but not least, myself as a fan of Jay, i want to see him back, whether or not as a leader of the group, I just want to see his charisma back on stage and screen. sigh.

7 - 1 = 0

2009-09-09T11:48:00.000-07:00

at 3:05 Jay rhymes, "the story of you and me? it's the end. look at the time, i gotta go, it's 2PM."

i bet no one will ever thought this day will come, now he's really gone.

but i say, "the story of you and me? it's NOT the end. look at the time, you gotta COME BACK, it's 2PM."

now, all videos and news of 2PM-without-Jay is tasteless for me.

is this a good thing or what?

love is not enough

2009-09-09T11:43:00.002-07:00

this is something that i tend to write at my FB status update, but after i wrote a few sentences, it keeps getting longer and words limit exceeded! nabeh! but never mind, i write it here..

and after last few days of crying and weeping over Jay's leaving 2PM... and i even fall sick because of that, mentally and emotionally being abused by the controversy of Jay's incident ok!

anyway, my point is after the sad days, i got some new thoughts when i was bathing just now...(yes, i used to think a lot when i'm in toilet!)

i shall feel proud to be a Malaysian and Chinese! no kidding!

in chinese communitiy/entertainment, you only get kick out frm the biz or force to leave the country only when you did smth big mistake like having ur pictures of camwhoring while making sex with other big female celebrities being spread around the www.

but at Korea, you're forced to commit suicide when you did smth minor mistakes, even it was 5 years ago before debut. this is not a joke k, because, till now there're already 6 Korean entertainers committed suicide due to the pressure given by the prideful fuckheads netizens (Koreans).

so wondering how they can force someone to go into the coffin?

they(Korea netizens) abuse these poor people who trying to pursue their dreams at the country thru the entertainer's Cyworld (something like blogspot), as simple as that... by leaving mean, hurtful, and aggressive comments to the victims, and they can kill someone, i mean like seriously, JUST LIKE THAT.

don't tell me anything like 'the victims should be stronger to overcome this, they need to sacrifice to stay in the biz, in fact, they earn so much money' or any related bullshit.

as repeated many times, they are only humans like us.
yes they might earn the fame, but having their life under the limelight for the rest of their lives, shouldn't we, as the audiences show them some sympathy AS A HUMAN, not as any fans or anti-fans instead of bashing them and forcing them to end their lives earlier.. i know, that's life, they earn money and fame, and hey, we earn some entertainment from them too..

i'm not going to deep further into who's right and wrong.. neither i'm speaking up as a Jay's fan... yes, i'm sad, i'm truly sad about the loss of Jay... but, it's the HUMANITY i'm saying here.. neither i'm going to repeat what has circulated around the web about what happen to Jay and his controversy!

it's not the first entertainer who committed suicide at the country u know, it's already 6th! and now they're doing some fuckhead petition asking Jay to commit suicide! what the hell is the people in that country thinking?! i mean, how many people they want to KILL summore?

it's a shame that they have this kind of culture. forcing someone to kill themselves when a mistake was made, regardless how big or small mistake it is!

seriously, i'm speaking as a mass com student and NOT a JAY'S FAN anymore. if Jay were to stay at the country and slowly killed by all the fuckheads netizens, i rather he quit the biz and go back to his country, i will be happy for him even though it is sad to see a talented and future-to-be big star leaving the screen.

the entertainment world seem to be glamorous and it is very tempting for anyone to step into the world, especially when you're a teenager who dream to be big or pursuing performing dreams. if you got what it takes, they will buy you some sweets and you'll end up deceived by them and bcome a trainee of them. and if you're lucky enough, you get to debut and become their army and weapons, but if you're not, you'll have to say bye bye after the contract ends.

i respect people like JYP and from a more professional view, again, put aside my Jay's-fan identity, i understand why this controversy end up like this, and somehow it is amazing that they can come out with this kind of solution - sending Jay away in order to save the other 6 members.

as far as i know, Jay the leader, and in my opinion, even he's not super good, but among all other members, i think he can handle and balance the singing and dancing skill the most. to what i've seen, some members might be good in singing, but not necessarily in dancing, and some vice versa.

but when something like this happen, even tho how good is Jay, JYPE is wise enough to sacrifice one rather than sacrifice all. because even if they choose to 'hide' and wait till the netizens cool down, once they re appear in front of the audiences, they will get a bash again. so to prevent something happens, the company have to pull away the root, clear and make sure it won't happen. well, this is what my opinion.

will Jay come back? i don't know.

but there's also a chance he'll be back too, with the fact that he is being loved not only by the fans and also people in the showbiz.. i dunno him in person, but i belive by the amount of people especially the celebrities who speak out for Jay, and from so many shows of Jay and 2PM i seen on YT, my sixth sense tell me he's a good entertainer and a responsible leader and as a man himself. but on the other hand, the fact of him leaving the country is already there, now only depends on the luck. moreover, with all the celebrities and friends of Jay writing messages for him, it seems to be true that Jay has really leave the group, and not just a 'strategy' of the big-man JYP to calm down the whole situation and later bring back Jay. it's all depends on luck i would say. sigh sigh.

again, my last word before i end this post..

people should show more love. yes i heard somebody bashing me sayin "the hungry africans need love too, i rather help them"... but HEY, i m saying, show love wherever you can, however you can. not only the victims of wars and poverty, but even the smallest and detailed things in the world, love can be send..

plus, is there a need to contribute more hatred to the world and people while love is not enough in this world?

sigh..

anyway, i will still be crying for Jay when i saw or watch something that makes me miss him. i don't want to repeat what impact he has bring on me anymore. i will be even sadder, maybe one day when i'm feeling better i will blog more about him. :(

p/s: celebrities messages and Jay's friends and co-workers messages for him makes me cry.. it really heart warming and sad.. it's like losing someone important..

further reading about Korean netizens -
http://seoulbeats.com/2009/09/op-ed-netizens-have-gone-to-far/

and a blog i found which is really good in explaining what happen to Jay -
http://not7but1.wordpress.com/

and Jay is now safely back at Seattle since yesterday -
http://seoulbeats.com/2009/09/jaebeoms-home-emotions-overflow/

how random

2009-09-03T12:32:00.000-07:00

front note: i don't mean to blog about Goo nor 2NE1 actually, but my randomness end up blogging differently from what i initially want to blog! :D

i'm going to balik kampung tomoro!!!
oh i can't wait to see Jeniefur, can't wait to bring her for a haircut! nyahahhahahha! she needs a revamp and makeover! and and and, i wanna drink Witchery!! :D

and if got chance, i really wanna go and see some stocks that i can carry for Butterscotch - my online store! it has been in dead status for months! -_-

anyway, guess what i've read today!

Goo Hye Sun, the lead actress of Boys Over Flowers, yes yes, the Gam Jandi - not only she can acts, she wrote a book titled "Tango", and she held an art gallery to show her best art work of all and guess what, now she is releasing a single soon!

(p.s: look at her fantastic artwork above the pic!)

ok, she really surprised me with all these talents. i really admired girls like this, so attractive. alrite, books and art gallery - sound so artistic and elegant - i guess there goes the same as her music and singing style lo! check the preview of her single HERE. sound very sad, so not Gam Jandi eh!

Album Title: Sum (소품집 : 숨 )
Artist: Goo Hye Sun (구혜선)
Released Country: Korea
Release date: Sept 03, 2009

01. Rain
02. 별별이별
03. 밤비소리
04. 향기
05. 사랑의 꿈
06. 골목을 돌면
07. 이별 행진곡
08. 골목을 돌면(Vocal ver) – 거미 (Gummy)

last before i end this note, so to those who is in love with 2NE1 'I Don't Care' song - so you think that's the extent of the song? NO! they come out with a reggae version of 'I Don't Care', and i definitely sure you'll love this version more! download the song HERE.

p/s: do you know that 2NE1 and Goo Hye Sun is actually from the same company - and eventually when forming up 2NE1, and Goo 'nearly' become one of 2NE1 member at that time. Now, can you imagine the elegant Goo wearing hot neon tights and big pattern chunk tee and lady gaga sunglass singing and dancing like 2NE1?

life = risk

2009-09-02T05:15:00.000-07:00

THIS is a good video found on Facebook! i wouldn't say it is the best motivation video ever (like what they describe on FB), but it's really good and helpful when you failed on doing something and it's even great when you tempt to give up!

harhar, so failures, watch this! :D

d-day!

2009-09-02T05:04:00.000-07:00

Alrite, tomorrow is d-day!

Not d day to go for SS501 fan meeting, but the day for my Journalism presentation! somehow i'm so not into the mood of going to the fan meeting already, saw some of their performances on Youtube but nothing much attracts me! (i'm devoted to 2PM you see! har-har!)

Maybe later i end up telling Mil i'm going to put her aeroplanne, i guess she won't mind cos she already have someone to accompany her. Rachael is coming to KL just for the fan meeting too, but she said if the album is too expensive, then she don't want to join already. Moreover, i got presentation on 5PM and the event is like 6PM!

Even though i manage to finish my presentation on 5.30PM, from my uni to One World, i surely need more than 30minutes to reach there, not to forget the damn fucking jam at LDP highway!

So conclusion, there's like 80% of big chance that i'm not going already. Blame the presentation! har-har! Not me! :D But I really wanna meet Mil to get my 2PM albums! This is the most anticipating part to me, more than meeting SS501, SERIOUSLY! :(

I think i better start doing my presentation slides and go through the essay Ram did! I wanna do good tomorrow!! My life is going to be busy with assignments, projects and shootings after this week! Damn! All the due dates are stacking up!!

OK! enough for now! Buh bye!

p/s: oh ya, i went to Seoul Garden, the BBQ buffet for lunch today afternoon with Cindy, AGAIN! and i'm still feeling so full now! feel like vomiting all the oily food out! :(

glee mood

2009-09-01T15:23:00.000-07:00

i'm listening to so many good songs lately! Khalil rocks!

meanwhile.....

i'm gonna get my 2PM Thailand Special Edition album this Thurs! double happiness!

CLICK HERE for the back cover.

the album will include two CDs from 2PM's first singles , 10 Out of 10 , and also their latest single, Again & Again! the CD will also contain Bonus DVDs and 18 photos of 2PM! nyahahhahahah!

Thanks to Mil for helping me buy during her last trip to Thailand! i'm now a happy biatch!

:D

p/s: learn the word glee from deslyn today! harhar! go check dictionary!!

tumblr

2009-09-01T13:54:00.000-07:00

i'm on tumblr!
and i'm so addictive to it already, even tho i just registered 15 minutes ago!

it's damn easy and it's like posting a blog post, twitter, quotes, pictures, audio, video all in one dashboard! but this is not Facebook! it's like a blogspot version of Facebook! HAHA! get what i mean? :D

easy easy easy!
double awesome especially for those lazy bloggers/ those who don't use to blogging!

catch me there!
http://reginananabubu.tumblr.com/

live like no other

2009-09-01T11:21:00.000-07:00

it was when you found out that, the key to everything that surround you is all about balancing, from relationships to commitment, from commitment to priority. and slowly you start worrying of what will happen tomorrow and afraid that you cannot cope it. but then again, you know you need to live the life with no regrets! life is short!